Taking A Different Approach

You know how sometimes the kids are driving you nuts? And you forget, just for a moment, that you are the grown-up in the relationship? Well that has been happening here lately. We are having some behaviour problems with Offspring #1 - mostly regression since the big move, all very understandable because it was a very big move for a 4 year old and Mummy and Daddy are taking a while to adjust too so he's taking his cues from us and running into a few problems every so often. Mostly it's just general pain-in-the-butt-ness stuff like not listening, not doing as he is asked, answering back and lots of bursting into tears at the drop of a hat. We have tried really hard to make the house as much of a home as we can, we bought all our furniture up, all the kids stuff (toys, clothes, furniture, etc - I went to great lengths to cull everything of mine and Hubby's but made sure that EVERYTHING of #1's was packed) and have carried on with our regular routine at home. But there have been changes and he is a sensitive little soul who takes things to heart so it's taking a while. Initially we went softly, as Dr Phil says "giving him a soft place to fall" at home with us, when that didn't achieve much we got strict and really stuck to the rules but all that really achieved was more crying. The last week he has driven me completely mad with plain rudeness and naughtiness so I gave myself a good talking to and decided that he was doing a lot of it to get my attention. If I'm busy doing something he'll ask me to play and when I put him off he'll start acting up. I do play with him and do craft activities and cooking and gardening, just not 24 hours a day - I do need to do other stuff like the washing and dishes. It seemed that all I was doing was telling him off and punishing him and we were both (all!!) miserable. My iron levels are again very low and the general tiredness and lack of energy is not helping at all. I know that when it's this low I get very grumpy and have very little tolerance (yeah, like I'm such a tolerant person normally, NOT!!) Anyway, after we both spent a day crying I decided that it was time to make some real changes. So the reward chart was created, my old stickers from teaching in a previous life were dug out and #1 and I had a chat about how Mummy and Daddy had been paying lots of attention to all the naughty things he had been doing but not really paying much attention when he was being good and that wasn't much fun. I told him that we would be looking for times when he was being good/doing the right thing and gave him some examples - like getting dressed in the morning as soon as I ask him, brushing his teeth without arguing, using his fork to eat all of his dinner (instead of switching to fingers halfway through) packing up his toys after he's finished playing, playing nicely with #2, etc. Together we came up with some rewards for getting a certain number of stickers - his suggestions were time playing Playstation with Dad, cooking with Mum "and I get to do it all and you just help", and going to the park.

We are three days in and so far it is working really well. Hubby and I are focussing on what #1 does right instead of not really noticing becuase of the all things he is doing wrong. #1 gets a sticker each time we notice him doing the right thing (and he isn't afraid to let us know if we are't paying proper attention LOL). He gets to choose the sticker and then put it on the right day on his reward chart, which he is loving. It is so nice to say "thanks for packing up all your toys, you did a great job" without asking 47 times for them to be put away and he is so much happier because I'm not yelling at him all day long. That's not to say he is being an angel or that there aren't consequences for bad behaviour but I'm feeling more like a good Mummy instead of a failure and a horrible yelling negative nasty person, Hubby is cutting him some slack and #1 is lots happier. He got 5 stickers today, the same number as yesterday, and his aim for tomorrow is to "get lots more than today". We are planning to take the kids to the beach in the morning so that will be a nice family outing (they are sadly lacking at the moment) and, fingers crossed, we will have another happy day.

Not Really Worth The Wait

Crumbed Apple Slice
From the Dessert/Sweet Ugly Binder

1½ cups self-raising flour
1½ cups dessicated coconut
½ cup caster sugar
185g butter, melted
1 egg, lightly beaten
425g can pie apples, drained I didn’t have any so I stewed 400g then gave them a quick mash and drained them well

Preheat oven to moderate 180˚C. Lightly grease an 18x28cm slice pan. Line with baking paper, extending 2cm above two long sides.

In a large bowl combine flour, coconut and sugar. Mix in melted butter and egg. Press half the mixture evenly into the prepared tin.

Cover base with apple. Crumble the remaining mixture over the apple.

Bake for 35-40 minutes, until golden brown. Cool in pan. Cut into squares.

I dusted it with icing sugar to serve.

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I have had this recipe floating around the Ugly Binder for about 2 years and I always plan to make it but never quite get there. I finally made it today but after all that time I was a little disappointed with the final result. It was nice but kind of lacked something. I will make it again but I plan to add some cinnamon to the apple and maybe a handful of sultanas too. I think I’ll reduce the coconut, maybe back to just 1 cup. We had it for afternoon tea and it did go down nicely with a freshly made cup of tea. I think it would be really yummy served warm with custard and ice-cream. Now if I could just figure out how to work chocolate into the recipe LOL!

If you give this a try, or make any variations of it, I’d love to know how it turns out and what you think.

A Confusing Explanation

Offspring #1 had a terrific day at kindy today and came home full of news: There is to be an end of term party next week with a "sea" theme as that is what the kindy kids have been learning about this term. They get to dress up as something to do with the sea (think fish, shark, sailor, mermaid, etc) and all the Mummys get to make something yummy for a special party lunch. He played with one of the new kids and thinks he is a very nice boy. New small best friend is still the current small best friend and they love each other a lot lot lot. He still doesn't like the naughty boy who hits (can't really blame him there). Miss Teacher didn't tell him off (not sure how to take that one - did she tell someone else off but #1 wasn't being naughty so didn't get told off, did she tell someone else off and #1 should have been included or is this his version of not telling me that he did get into trouble?) And he brought home some beautiful paintings that he did at school. This is where the title of today's post comes into play.

Here is #1's painting

I oohed and aahed appropriately and then asked him to tell me about it. His explanation went kind of like this:

Mummy: What's in your picture, #1?

#1: Well, the big spiky bit is the sun and the long straight bit under it is the rocket and the big blue part is big and really blue and the red bit is the space-man. No wait, the big blue bit is the rocket and the straight bit is the man and the red bit is red.

Mummy: Oh. What's the yellow bit?

#1: Ummm... yellow. Or maybe the sun. No, I already have a sun. Can you have two suns?

Mummy: Well sure, if you want.

#1: No I don't want that. Maybe it's something else.

Mummy: Ooooookay? What might it be?

#1: I dunno! But I write-ed my name real good, hey Mum?

Mummy: Yes, mate. You wrote your name real good. And it's a great picture.

#1: Yeah I know.

I want to be four again and be completely certain that everything I do is great and be even more certain that everyone else thinks it's great too!

Ssshhhhh....

The dishes are done

The kids are asleep

And the ironing basket is empty

All is good in our little corner of the world tonight! Hope yours is too.

A Friend To Play

Fruit and Oat Cookies
from the Sweet/Dessert Ugly Binder

Makes 16

1 cup self raising flour, sifted
1 cup cornflakes
¾ cup desiccated coconut
½ cup brown sugar
1/3 cup finely chopped dried apricots
1/3 cup sultanas
150g unsalted butter, melted
1 egg, lightly beaten
1 tablespoon honey

Preheat oven to moderate 180˚C. Grease and line 2 baking trays

In large bowl, combine all dry ingredients. Stir in butter, egg and honey, mixing well.

Roll 2 tablespoons of mixture into balls. Place on prepared trays, leaving 4cm space between each. Press lightly with fingertips to flatten. I find this to be way too big, instead I do one heaped teaspoon and end up with about 30 at a nice size.

Bake 10-12 minutes. Cool on trays. Store in an airtight container.

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We have a kindy friend coming to play this afternoon and Offspring #1 is very “incited”. It’s very cute but somewhat concerning when he tells me that characters on tv are very “inciting” because I always wonder what they are inciting. I remember from history classes that “the peasants are revolting” but was it Buzz Lightyear, Atomic Betty or Timmy from Fairly Odd Parents who was inciting them?

These biscuits are very yummy and always a winner with guests – young or a little more mature (if I called kindy friend’s Mum OLD I think she’d be mortally offended LOL). As is becoming my theme they are easy to make, especially with little helpers, and I really like that I usually have everything I need in the cupboard.

I have decided to drop the Question Of The Day (mostly because I can't think of any good ones, or if I do think of one it's very early in the morning and I've forgotten it by the time I get to doing my blog!) but I would still love to hear your comments. I know there are some of you who read each day so why not say hello, share what your kids or grandkids are doing or did at the same ages, let me know if you have tried any of my recipes and how they worked out. And if you have just stumbled across my blog why not say hi and let me know what you think?